Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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