So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize