Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
