I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
