Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
a search helicopter?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
