if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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