did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
