Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
