You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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