No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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