Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
