You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
