I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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