You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
