lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
