Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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