My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
