Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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