quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
