Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my shit smells like andre
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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