these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
