yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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