i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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