Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
