Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
