Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
