so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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