When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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