His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
