we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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