I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
