she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How naked do you want me to be?
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