Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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