just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
