i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
