is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
