do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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