I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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