She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
