What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
