you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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