i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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