i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
