Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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