your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
