just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
