i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
