i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
