I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
