Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
