My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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