Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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