just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
