My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
