Nicole vs. Life
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
