I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
