She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
