I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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