do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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