i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
