id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
