I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
