I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
