I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
